teenage pregnancy ,What Shoud They Do; adoption abortion or childborth ?
Hey = [
I'ma Teenage & im Stupid as you can see ,
ive made a BIG mistake by having sex with my Bf .
& Yes Now im pregnant about 4 weeks .
i Do Not believe in Abortion Pills & all That .
Rather Natural Child Birth .
But i really Don't know what to do about it ,
Keeping da baby or Adoption ?
Have Some Advice For Me Yahooer's ?
Please & Thank You = ]
November 27th, 2009 at 7:24 am
I am a teen mother. I kept my baby
I love her with all my heart and I could never dream of adoption. She is my whole world! 
November 27th, 2009 at 7:24 am
Not get pregnant in the first place.
Ok i believe in pro-choice and it is the mothers choice if she wants an abortion or adoption. Adoption is one of the "preferred" methods. this eliminates the stress of the mother’s education and future. you can always stay in contact with the parents and check in on the child.
Its your choice so i hope you choose wisely!!
November 27th, 2009 at 7:24 am
Considering your age and situation, and the early stage of your pregnancy, abortion is a good choice. I’m not sure what these abortion pills you speak of are but i’m talking about the surgical procedure. If you don’t feel abortion is something you want to do, adoption is the second best choice.
good luck, and props to you for being open to ideas.
November 27th, 2009 at 7:24 am
do not abort the baby no matter what dont let them kill your precious child give birth and dont let them sick those disgusting chemicals in you you did a very smart thing going on here…and you are very smart knowing that aborting is bad and if you want to keep the child and or adoption but make shure its a good family and you know they will take good care of him! good luck!
November 27th, 2009 at 7:24 am
I’m not here to judge you hun, I would say it would depend on how old you are. If your old enough to get a job where you live then I would start with that. Its really all your decision, you made a mistake and I’m sure it is scaring you pretty bad, just talk to a family member or close friend, ask them.
Pray!
November 27th, 2009 at 7:24 am
Well if it were me I would keep the baby. If you give it up for adoption you will always have to live with the regret. If you decide to keep it you will have some growing up to do, and it won’t be easy, but holding your baby and seeing the love in its eyes will make it all worth it.
November 27th, 2009 at 7:24 am
Hi sweetie. I think your making an awesome decision by choosing to have the baby. You are a strong person. Now, the hardest option will be adoption, but it is also the best one. You aren’t ready to be a mom at your age. No one is. And it’s only fair to you and the baby. Giving your child up is the best thing a teenage mom can do for their baby. It’s the ultimate sacrifice, and it shows the amazing love they have for their child. Best luck!!! Everything will be okay
Love
Abbey
November 27th, 2009 at 7:24 am
If you don’t want it, do the decent thing and have a bloody abortion. Not coming into existence is infinitely better than spending a potential life of agony at having been ripped away from the only thing you’ve ever known and loved.
I suggest you read http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2009/03/breaking-silence-on-living-pro-lifers.html before making your final decision.
November 27th, 2009 at 7:24 am
Not abortion.
If the father is staying in the picture and you can financially afford it, and emotionally handle it, and if you both want to, keep the baby. Don’t worry about school, there are options (such as online schooling). It’s possible.
If you can’t afford it or think you can’t handle it, or don’t want to, adoption
November 27th, 2009 at 7:24 am
I would suggest you (and the father) get some unbiased counseling someone who will lay your options out there for you but not sway you one way or another. If you choose the adoption route your boyfriend will have to agree with that.
Any choice you have has the potential to have an effect on you and not even in a good way. There are mothers who have placed their child for adoption only to later regret it and there are others that are at peace with their decision. There are women who have gotten abortions are at peace about it but there are also women who have had abortions that are not at peace with it and regret it. (Not to mentioned the effects an abortion has on the father as well).
There are people who choose to parent but probably should not have.
If you choose between adoption and parenting you do not have to make your choice until after the baby is born. I’d suggest you wait at least 4 days after you have delivered.
November 27th, 2009 at 7:24 am
I don’t tell people to place for adoption, to have an abortion or to parent their child. Everyone’s circumstances are unique and it’s impossible for anyone to sit on the other end of a computer screen and say: YES! This is absolutely the right thing!
I will say that I was a teenage mom and did just fine.
My best advice is to educate yourself and learn everything you can about your options. You say that you don’t believe in abortion, so don’t have one. If it comes down to a decision of adoption vs parenting, do all the research you can. You need to know all your rights if you are considering adoption and you cannot count on an adoption agency or an attorney to keep you completely informed. You also need to educate yourself on the resources and assistance to help you parent, including how to finish school.
Learn as much as you can, then make an informed decision. Best of luck!
November 27th, 2009 at 7:24 am
I agree with Jennifer L And some other people on here about what they said 2 u. Now on the other hand it all up to you rather you want to keep the baby IF u are ready to be lovely care mom. wish u all the best.
November 27th, 2009 at 7:24 am
While I personally am NOT a religious person by any means and AM pro-choice, I personally would never be able to get an abortion… I certainly would never and have never looked down on a woman who chose abortion however because I believe that it is a woman’s CHOICE.
Of course, being adopted, I personally would also never be able to willfully give my child away to people I don’t know to raise. But really, MY personal opinions don’t really matter here. This isn’t about me or any of the other posters… this is about YOU.
If you don’t believe in abortion pills, then obviously that’s not an option for you. If you are a religious person who believes in the pro-life agenda, then you shouldn’t get an abortion… because it’s definitely not right for you. If you ARE pro-choice and have no moral or religious beliefs that would cause you psychological trauma from the procedure, then abortion would be an option for you. It doesn’t sound to me like this is the case.
If I were in your situation, I would do everything in my power to keep my baby. What the adoption agencies and those desperate for kids don’t tell you is that there are tons of government programs out there specifically designed to help soon-to-be mothers like yourself. Your parents work and pay taxes. You will work and pay taxes. You are the kind of person these programs are designed for so you might as well use them to help you raise your child and be a good mother.
Start doing internet research. Talk to your doctors, your guidance counselor, ANYone who can help you find the programs that will help you raise your child. They are out there if you are willing to put forth the effort to look.
I also want to warn you… there are a lot of desperate people around on these boards that troll for babies. I’m not saying that ALL of the AP’s on these boards are evil trolls desperate for an infant… That’s not the case by any means… but there ARE some who will prompt you to email them or who will try to contact you. Do not talk to them. They are not your friends, they are strangers… and trolling Y!A is NOT a legitimate way to get a baby. Being young and pregnant makes you vulnerable and that’s just the kind of person that’s easy to coerce.
The first thing you need to figure out is Abortion or No Abortion. Don’t even THINK about whether or not to relinquish your baby to adoption until you’ve decided whether or not you want an abortion.
If you decide abortion, your decision making is done. If you choose NO abortion, then and ONLY then do you need to start thinking about whether or not to relinquish the child. If you decide not to abort, remember that your choice will have a massive impact on your child’s life. Only do what is in your and your child’s best interests.
November 27th, 2009 at 7:24 am
It’s your choice, but you need to educate yourself on how adoption affects you and your baby.
Adoption seems like the way to go, but in reality it is a decision that will haunt you and give you pain for the rest of your life and when your baby finds you and asks "why" no answer will be good enough.
I hope that your parents will help you, mine didn’t and I live without my baby for 29 years. When I searched and found her, we were both thrilled to be reunited again.
We have been in reunion since 2001. I, like you was stupid and put myself in a situation where I was 17 and pregnant, everyone said adoption and I, being a coward, went along with them.
I was told that I would get over it, but trust me, I never did. I had to live my life with the knowledge that I had given away my baby.
Whatever you decide it’s going to be a hard.
November 27th, 2009 at 7:24 am
Hey you realized you made a mistake. That’s a huge step in growing up. Now its up to you if you want to try to be a mom or if you want to give someone else the chance to be a mom. You’re already an amazingly strong person for choosing to give this baby life. But no one but you knows what’s in your heart. If you believe you can keep this baby and be a mom than do it. Don’t let the pressure of everyone else saying you can’t stop you just because of your age. But if you want to give your baby up out of love do it.
November 27th, 2009 at 7:24 am
If your not able to take care of the child I would look into adoption. There is open adoption and closed. If you were to choose open you can still be a part of the child’s life through pictures, visits,etc.. It is a selfless way to go. The child would always love you for the tough decision you had to make. You would also be giving a couple the opportunity to be parents that would not be able to.
November 27th, 2009 at 7:24 am
honestly save your life, and get an abortion.
November 27th, 2009 at 7:24 am
Any of the choices are hard. If you are against abortion, then don’t have one. I know a girl who let her boyfriend pressure her into one against her beliefs and it wrecked her. That said, if you are pro-choice then its a valid option – though I do recommend you take advantage of the free after counciling most clinics provide. Adoption is a good choice if you don’t feel that raising the child is right for you – if you don’t want to parent, you don’t have the support you think you need, health reasons, whatever. I was adopted, and I am happy with my life. That said, if you want to keep your baby there are a lot of support networks now for teen mom’s who want to parent. You should talk with an unbiased councilor about the options – what kinds of support you can get if you keep the baby, what kind of adoptions there are, etc, so you can make an informed choice. You have lots of time left to think about things and get information. Its a scary time for you right now, but things will be alright. You are the only one who knows what is right for you, don’t let anyone make your choices for you.
November 27th, 2009 at 7:24 am
My Mom had me at 15, and she kept me. She had a great support system, got a job, my father got a job, and my grandparents obviously helped alot. I am happy she didn’t put me up for adoption I grew up happy and with alot of love!
She did have to drop out of school though, and my parents split up eventually, she struggled with finances, went from job to job, and we lived with my grandparents for awhile. A baby is alot of work…
clothes-
Car seat- Avg price $150
Stroller – $180 – $250
Changing Table – $80 – $90
Crib – Avg price $230
Bedding- Avg price $40
Diapers- $19 a week so bout $600 for the whole year
Wipes- You’ll use a lot, but if you buy a giant Costco box, it lasts about 2 months ($20)
Formula – You’re looking at about $70-100/month on formula.
It costs money to feed a baby no matter how you do it..
Breastfeeding- Most people prefer pumps they usually cost around
$300, or you can rent one for 60/month.
You need to change your diet to increase your supply of milk. (tons of herbs, water, oatmeal..)
Bottles- $11 for a 6 pack.
Baby food- $15/$20 a week.
Clothing- $100 (ask around though it’s easy to get free baby clothes! )
Pacifiers- (you’ll want them! Trust me..) $4 for a 2 pack.
Toys- Depends where you buy them!
OH don’t forget child-care! If you have noone to watch the baby
and you have school you will be looking at about $400/month for a daycare center.
Throwing a baby shower will help with alot of these items!
After my brother was born, my mom had a huge baby shower
she only had to pay for formula, baby food, diapers, and wipes!
There are alot of pros and cons.
A baby is a precious gift…but an expensive one!
November 27th, 2009 at 7:24 am
The World Health Organization estimates that the risk of death following pregnancy is twice as great for women between 15 and 19 years than for those between the ages of 20 and 24. The maternal mortality rate can be up to five times higher for girls aged between 10 and 14 than for women of about twenty years of age. Risks for medical complications are greater for girls 14 years of age and younger, as an underdeveloped pelvis can lead to difficulties in childbirth.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teenage_pregnancy#Outcomes
Bottom line is this – anatomically your aren’t ready to give birth. Your pelvis is still in three pieces, these pieces should be fused before you have a child. They won’t fuse until you are 18 at the earliest. If you try to have a baby now you have a good chance you will do damage to your reproductive organs and that may effect your future fertility. Look up fistula and see if you like to have one of those. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obstetric_fistula It’s not pretty and that’s just one kind of damage having a baby too early can do to your body.
Rethink having a baby this young.
~Pro-Choice Momma; Have had an abortion <no regrets> and I have a 10 month old daughter <no regrets>. I believe in protecting my daughter’s choice.
Abortion: There is a Consensus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsSQiazUvgo
November 27th, 2009 at 7:24 am
If you love your child, give him/her up for adoption. Loving parents will do a better job of raising your child than you can without a job, husband or education.
November 27th, 2009 at 7:24 am
You made a mistake so before you make a decision research what is the best option for you. You need to make your decision for yourself without being swayed by anybody else.
There are those who chose abortion, others chose to parents, others who chose adoption and are happy/comfortable with their decisions. On the other hand there are others who aren’t happy with their choice or were persuaded/coerced.
I am pro life but was coerced into surrendering (aged 19) so I know the pain of being forced to do something I didn’t want to do. Abortion was quite simply a thought as I knew I wanted to parent and adoption never crossed my mind.
Adoption is forever so think carefully as it doesn’t just affect you it affects your child.
November 27th, 2009 at 7:24 am
Parenting. Motherhood. Raising YOUR child.
November 27th, 2009 at 7:24 am
I personally cannot tell you what to do. But, believe me other people will tell you what to do in every way. I’d rather be supportive to you in your situation. Guess what, you are a mom. Congradulations! No matter what happens, your child is and always will be a part of you. This little person is on its way. I actually disagree with the mistake comment. No human being is a mistake. And you are not stupid. This was meant to happen for a reason. If you are to go through with a healthy pregnancy you have to get off of the mistake and I’m stupid kick. Because that is old news. You need to embrace your situation and make it into something good and wonderful. This is your first born child you are talking about. Don’t let anyone talk you down, coerce you, manipulate you or bully you because of your situation. You do not need to sign any papers or make some decision in haste. Do lots of research and talk with others that have been in your situation. Keep your chin up!!
November 27th, 2009 at 7:24 am
You’re not stupid. You made a mistake. There is a difference. Doesn’t mean your child is a mistake.
I too hesitate to "tell" you what to do because the consequences of your decision will be yours to bear.
I’ve made it clear on YA before that I believe that teenagers with no support (financial, emotional, educational….) have a much harder time parenting because of their developmental stage. Please know this had NOTHING to do with love. I don’t doubt that most, if not all, teenage moms LOVE their babies. I’m strictly speaking about the ABILITY to parent and my concern for the children who must rely on someone who are themselves, still growing up.
That said…relinquishing your child for adoption would not be easy. Even if you wholeheartedly believe it to be the right thing. The price is very high from what I have learned here and through our contact with our son’s birth mom. There is also the legal aspect…your boyfriend, the father, has to sign his parental rights away to allow an adoption to take place. Perhaps his family is able to take on the responsibility with him.
I’m just saying that it will be hard either way and that all you can do is consider what is best for you and especially, your child. Have you accessed resources and supports to assist you? I don’t know how old you are but you should be able to find an advocate to look after your interest in all of this. Someone from a non-profit agency who can help.
I wish you luck. Again, you are not stupid. Do you know how many pregnancies between adults are unexpected? It happens and I encourage you to be more careful in the future though I suspect from your question…that you will be.
November 27th, 2009 at 7:24 am
It depends completely on the situation. First of all, does the teenager WANT to abort or surrender? If so that should be that. If they want to keep it, what are the circumstances? Can the teen support the baby or are there family members able and willing to do so? If not, they shouldn’t try to raise the baby. It’s just way too broad for a cookie cutter answer, but the best thing for the baby and your conscience is usually
adoption to a good family
November 27th, 2009 at 7:24 am
My sister had a baby at 14 it was hard but her girl is a lovely 15 year old and she is a nice girl my sister loves her and we all think she done the right thing keeping her my mum whated her to get rid of her because of her age but mum says know that she is happy that my sis keep her i would say do what you feel is best for you and your baby if i was you i would keep the baby
Good luck xxxx
November 27th, 2009 at 7:24 am
you need to think about what you can live with this is a life changing event you give up the child you will have to deal with that for the rest of your life at least the child will be with loving parents and have a great life (hopefully) and no it wont be easy but is it best? only you can answer that question, you abort the baby can you live with the thought you terminated your childs life? you have to live with that forever or keep the baby and yes again its a hard road can you do this do you have help? think about it all dont make any fast decisions this is one you have to make yourself dont let anyone make the decisions for you only you can do whats right for you…
November 27th, 2009 at 7:24 am
Keep your baby. You will regret giving your baby to strangers and your child will suffer.
I don’t know where the other answerer lives but my son is one year old and I bought all of his stuff new.
new crib $100
travel system (carseat/stroller) $160
breastpump $50
diapers $40 a month
when you have your baby you’ll find that babies are way more cheap than some APs would like you to think. I must admit that I wasted money on a changing table, breastpump and crib. my son slept in our bed for the first year and went directly to a toddler bed, i’m a stay at home mom so the pump was useless and since he was five months I’ve put him on a changing pad on my bed.
November 27th, 2009 at 7:24 am
Personally, I think you sound like a mature person to begin with, other than you called yourself "stupid". You’re not stupid, we all make mistakes. I think it’s awesome that you are looking at all your options and you already ruled out the ones that don’t appeal to you. So, keep the baby or give it up for adoption? There are pros and cons to both sides. I have known plenty of teenage moms who say that raising the child is hard when you are a teenager but none have ever regretted the decision to keep the baby and take care of it. It’s a lot of sweat and tears but children are worth it. Adoption is not forever (as someone else said). If you choose adoption, you are able to finish school, go to college, and if you’re interested, you can look your child up when you are older and reunite with that child. So either option is a great one but both will be hard. Think about it, you have a while to make a decision, with the father of the baby, your family, etc. If your family would support you and help you finish school. I would say keep it if that is what you want to do. If you choose adoption, you could probably find a family close to you (that you already know) willing to take the baby and you would always know it was in good hands. I don’t think I would make that decision either way until I actually had the baby. You can’t believe how much you are going to love it at first sight. Good luck to you in whatever you choose.
November 27th, 2009 at 7:24 am
Do not get an abortion! You may not regret it now, but you will down the road. Give the baby up for adoption. You may not want to give up your child, but you are strong enough! Would you rather give away your child or kill your child?